growing upWhen I was twelve I loved my dadgrowing up by yuzi-12
The pulse of my heart was because of him
His arms were a towering fortress
That I thought would fight for me.
I couldn't tell the difference between a hickey and a bruise.
Rye was only a swaying grain in the fields.
When I was twelve I thought my dad loved me.
On the day I turned thirteen
The phone didn't screech until the next day.
Slurring his words with whiskey still on his tongue,
I could hardly understand his apologies.
With tears trapped in my eyes,
Said it was okay.
When I was thirteen I loved my dad.
When I was fourteen
I loved a girl.
My sister became my brother
And my brother lost a father.
I couldn't understand why my dad wouldn't accept his own blood.
But I loved my brother.
When I was fourteen, I couldn't love my father.
When I was fifteen
My vocal chords trembled when I spoke to him.
His booming voice sent shivers down my spine.
Forcing a smile to form the words I love you.
I heard him yell the word “Fag”
Like the screa
You always tasted like alcoholI Can’t remember much since you've left.You always tasted like alcohol by yuzi-12
Mainly foggy memories of me stumbling for the next bottle.
My grandma tells me it breaks her heart to see me drink.
But she doesn't know
That I drink to replace the taste of your lips.
And I’m just trying to get addicted to something besides the way your whole body trembles when I touch your thighs.
I will keep telling myself that by emptying the bottles,
it will replace the empty void that fills me.
First timeI have had many things stolen from me.First time by yuzi-12
From the simplest things.
When I was 5 my first play station.
7, my first kiss.
And when I was 14, my first time.
Most people imagine their first time
as this beautiful moment,
Candles on the side of the bed.
Marvin Gaye playing in the background.
And this perfect collision of bodies.
Like during a sunset,
The way purple and pink clash so beautifully.
And that absolute moment of pleasure.
But instead of screaming his name,
I was screaming for help.
LatelyLately I've found myself wishing that I could light myself on fire.Lately by yuzi-12
As every inch of my skin peeled off and turned to ash.
And all of this ache and pain
would be less then this flame engulfing me.
Lately I've been keeping secrets.
But these stains on my sheets won't wash out.
And these bruises won't fade,
These scabs won't heal.
I'll paint my nails red so my mother won't know.
But no mixture of soap and water
could wash away this shame
Lately I've found myself wishing that I could light myself on fire.
|Just a lot of art and stuff I make. Please keep in mind I have had this since I was like 13 so the farther you go, the worse it gets.|
|I try all kinds of art. key word: try. I really do poetry and photography, but when I do traditional art, I don't really have great talents there. I am working though. practice makes perfect. Thank you.|
Sorry ive been really inactive lately, school and I haven't been doing much writing recently. But I'm bored and found this on tumblr....so....
what was your:
last drink: H2O
last phone call: My dad
last text message: my best friend.
last song you listened to: Pity Party -Melanie Martinez
last time you cried: Like 2 days ago. I hit my funny bone
have you ever:
dated someone twice: no
been cheated on: nah
kissed someone and regretted it: YES
lost someone special: like died? no.
been drunk and thrown up: Nope
list three favourite colours: Purple, pink, and yellow.
in the last year have you:
made a new friend: Kinda sorta. Yeah
fallen out of love: ye
laughed until you cried: YES A LOT
met someone who changed you: not really
found out who your true friends are: Yeah. Definitely.
found out someone who was talking about you: Nope.
kissed anyone on your fb friends list: Yes.
how many people on your fb friends do you know in real life: The majority are acquaintances
do you have any pets: yes my cat. Blue!!!
do you want to change your name: Meh
what did you do for your last birthday: Nothing.
what time did you wake up today: 11:30
what were you doing at midnight last night: I was actually asleep
name something you cannot wait for: Life to stop shitting on me.
last time you saw your mother: A few minutes ago.
what are you listening to right now: nothing
have you ever talked to a person named tom: yes.
what’s getting on your nerves right now: Life
blood type: O+
relationship status: single
zodiac sign: Gemeni
favourite tv show: The Walking Dead
right or left handed: Right
first surgery: Do ear tubes count????
first piercing: My ears
first best friend: I think her name was McKayla.
first sport you joined: I wanted to do cheer but I never actually JOINED a sport
first vacation: Well I flew to visit my dad when I was like 7 in Texas?
first pair of trainers: how am i supposed to know this?
eating: I ate a crescent roll like 5 minutes ago.
want kids: No
get married: wanna get married? yes. currently? no.
which is better:
lips or eyes: eyes
hugs or kisses: hugs
shorter or taller: taller
older or younger: older
romantic or spontaneous: romantic
nice stomach or nice arms: arms
sensitive or loud: sensitive
hook up or relationship: relationship
trouble maker or hesitant: what kind of question is this?
have you ever:
kissed a stranger: I made out with a guy I barely knew against my will.
drank hard liquor: yes
sex on the first date: no
broke someone’s heart: yes
had your own heart broken: yeah
been arrested: no
cried when someone died: yes
fallen for a friend: yeah
do you believe in:
yourself: not really
love at first sight: yes
santa claus: no
kiss on the first date: yes
angels: not sure